Frissics

An introduction to the scientific study of Friday

What is Frissics?

Frissics is a relativistic quantum theoretical model for determining whether or not it is currently Friday.

What is Frissics for?

While there are numerous amazing uses for frissics, it was initially developed by researchers concerned with the question of whether it was appropriate to consume alcoholic beverages after leaving (or in some situations while still at) work for the day.
Prior research found that such consumption events strongly correlate (.96) with an observer's proximity to a curious quantum-temporal anomaly, that itself bears a curious relationship to the day of the week popularly known as 'Friday'.
Subsequent investigation suggests that—contrary to common understanding—Friday (particularly when combined with alcohol or other recreational consumables) exhibits very unusual temporal and geographic characteristics leading to the creation of the Standard Frissics Model described herein.

Key Concepts in Everyday Language*

*The relevant maths have yet to be published in a reputable journal—or any other journal for that matter—largely because researchers have found it difficult to simultaneously conduct research and cogently write latex.

The Frissics Universality Principle

It's always Friday Somewhere!

The Frissics Uncertainty Principle

If you have to ask whether it's Friday, then it isn't.

The Precedent Locality Principle

Thursday is Friday's Friday.

The Precedent Locality Regression Corollary

By combining the Universality Principle's geographic relativism with the Precedent Locality Principle it becomes clear that Wednesday is Thursday's Friday, Tuesday's is Wednesday's, and so forth everywhere. In other words, all times and places (except Monday!) are relatively Friday to every other point in the space-time continuum. One consequence of this is that the closer you are to Friday, the more likely it will also be Friday wherever you actually are at the time (cf. "The Humpday Hypothesis" below).

The Counter-Friday Hypothesis

Monday is an infinitesimally small point in a week's time when it cannot be Friday.

The Dual Particle Model

Monday and Friday are best understood as fundamental consumption particles carrying opposite charge and alcohol contents.

The Humpday Hypothesis

Extensive empirical measurement of the Monday↔Friday probability distribution suggests that Wednesday is the most likely day to be Friday. While there is no known correlation with whether there are camels nearby, the discovery of this important principle occurred as researchers were trying a particularly tasty single-malt; the significance of this remains a very active area of research.

The Bensday Convention (The special theory of Bayesian Wednesday)

Named for a mysterious Frissics researcher known only as Ben to commemorate his discovery of the probability curve that gave rise to the Humpday Hypothesis, the Bensday Convention states: If it is Wednesday and you make plans to meet Ben after 4PM local solar time, then it is extremely likely that it will be Friday when you get there.

The Bensday Conventions (plural) (aka: the general theory of Bayesian Wednesday)

Generalizing the special theory: If you make plans to meet with someone, the probability that it will be Friday is highly correlated with how often it was Friday when last you met. Considered by at least a couple of people as the most stunning discovery in the field to date.

The Quantum Asymmetry Hypothesis

Saturday (aka Superfriday) is a continuation of Friday and can extend all the way to Monday, given the right atmospheric conditions and consumables.

The Sportsball Borealis

Superfriday is more likely to extend to and even beyond "Monday" during Fall & Winter months in the Northern Hemisphere. This suggests that the Monday singularity is also relative; also an area of active research.

Harris' Law of Beverages

If it's Friday, then any question about a beverage can be answered with 'yes'.

Harris' Law (Inductive Corollary)

If the answer to any question about a "Friday Beverage" is 'yes', then it is highly probable that is Friday when and where the question was answered (cf. Precendent Locality Regression Corollary).

The William Exception Hypothesis

Extensive research suggests that Harris' Law may not apply to a certain notorious Frissics researcher who always seems to cancel at the last moment. Most researchers have given up on this area of research.

FAQ

Is it Friday?

No.